Dear Mr. New Neighbor Man,
Please put a shirt on. No one wants to see your hairy back or flabby belly. I can see under that layer of mush lies a body that was once something to look at. I'm sure it was somethin' back in the day, but those days are long gone.
Please, for all of us, let it go.
Thank you. Now I must get back to packing.
Signed,
Your soon-to-be old neighbor
