Me: (For the 10th time) SA, put on your jammies NOW.
SA: Stop it, you crazy egg!
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Driving to school, a brightly painted Charter Cable bus passes us...
SJ: LOOK! The Scooby bus!!!
SA: Hurry, mom! Catch it!
AR: Is Daphne in there? Mom, I want to see Daphne! Hurry!
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SA: Mom, what did you do when you were a kid like me?
Me: I played with toys.
SA: What kind of toys?
Me: Dolls. I loved dolls. And I also liked Hot Wheel cars like you play with.
SA: That's neat, mom. Hugs me. I like that.
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Putting the kids to bed, RD working night shift...
SJ: Mom, I don't want daddy to be at work.
Me: I know, honey, but he'll be back in the morning.
SJ: But he won't be here while we're sleeping. He won't be here to protect me. There's bad guys and monsters...and he won't protect me.
Me: I'm here, sweetie! I won't let anyone get you.
SJ: Looking worried and not at all convinced.
Me: Mommy will protect you. Isn't mommy okay?
SJ: No.
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What's repeated several times a day, every day...
AR: Want to see how beautiful I am?
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AR: I really like those things on your belly.
Me: What things? These freckles?
AR: No, those things (pointing to my breasts).
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SA: Mom, my belly hurts! It's your fault, mom!
Me: MY fault? Why is it my fault?
SA: You let me have two snacks, mom. Now my belly hurts!
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SA: I am vengeance. I am night. I am Batman.
Me: I am scared.
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SJ's first joke...
SJ: Why did the puppy poop on his head?
Me: Why?
SJ: Because he was stinky!!!!!!!!!
All three kids erupt into laughter.
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Me: SJ, you get off that couch now and get your jammies or you're going in time out!
SJ: You send me to time out and I'm taking my shorts off!
