I find myself saying this a lot lately, in my head that is. And it's usually directed towards my husband, and it's usually something pertaining to the kids.
This morning started out like this...
I was in bed trying to sneak a few more minutes sleep. AR and SJ were standing in their beds, jumping up and down while holding onto the rails. This has ended badly many times. *BOOM* Now...keep in mind that I got up at 2 a.m. to tuck SJ back in as he had crammed himself into the corner of his crib. Then between 6:30 and 7:20 a.m. I had gotten up several times to either throw more toys in someone's crib, comfort after one had fallen, etc. - anything to get more sleep. Whatever made me think that I could get some quality sleep in the next 10 minutes is beyond me (it was 7:20 a.m. and we start our day at 7:30 a.m.) It wasn't a head-crashing-against-the-rails-boom, it was more like a fallen-flat-on-the-mattress-and-got-the-shit-scared-out-of-me-boom, but there was a little more urgency to it then that. I was tired. I was fed up. RD had been pressing snooze on the alarm clock for the past 20+ minutes. Why can't HE go make sure SJ is okay?!
Me: Can you go make sure he's okay?
RD: nothing
Me: Since you have to get up anyway?
RD: made a sound that sort of sounded like a yes.
Me: thinking, "So help me God, if I have to go in there...!!!!!"
Nothing...nothing..."Whaaaiiilllll"
I then got up in a huff and went in there - absolutely fuming.
RD: I was going to go in there!!
When? When was he going to go in there? I already feel like an awful mom now anyway. I shouldn't have waited for RD...I should've just gone in there. SJ was fine. He got his arm caught in the rails when he fell. He was more startled than anything, but he was fine.
In many ways I feel like having children has given me more patience, made me more tolerable of many things, yet where my patience has suffered is with my husband.
I have many times thought to myself, "So help me God if he doesn't...change that diaper...take that box downstairs...make that formula...So help me God if have to do that I am going to burst!!!!!!"
With the upcoming New Year I've decided what my New Year's resolution is going to be...to be more patient with my husband. He is a wonderful husband and father and he deserves the patience I would give to anyone else.
Speaking of patience, AR has used all her's up and is ready to get up from her nap. So off I go!
But first let me ask you...what is your New Year's resolution?
