New Stat Counter

I added a new stat counter (thank you, Professional Slacker). This one's neat...it shows me what searches led people to my site. This should be very interesting!

Follow-up on Creepy Dude Report

Someone from the police department called and left me a message regarding my call about the creepy dude. He said, "This is Sgt. ____. I was calling to follow up on the call you made. I can't remember what it was about, but if it's an emergency, please call ______ and they'll send a car out right away; otherwise, call me on my cell at _____________."

If it's an emergency?! That was a week ago! If it was an emergency, I'd probably be dead by now! Geesh!

I'm not calling back by the way. They obviously aren't too concerned with what I said last week if they don't even remember what it was about. I'm fine with that. My call was really a "just in case."

Insomnia

As tired as I've been lately, you'd think I'd have no problems getting to sleep. My first problem is this nasty cough. I have that annoying cough that follows a cold. Every time I lie down I have this constant tickle in the back of my throat. I kept popping in cough drops, being paranoid at the same time that I would fall asleep with one in my mouth and wake up choking to death. I actually laid there thinking, "If I start to choke on my cough drop, with RD sleeping, after waking him up (not an easy task), how do I communicate to him that I need the Heimlich (sp?) maneuver?!" I was going through my mind how I would do this!

I have the most ridiculous thoughts when lying in bed at night. Please tell me I'm not the only one! LOL I will worry for something for the longest time, something that worries me so much, I can't get to sleep...then the next day I might not even think about what it was that was keeping me up until the next afternoon. I realize then, in the light of the day, how irrational my fear was the night before. I've noticed these irrational thoughts, these feelings of impending doom, have increased since I've become a mother. I lie there and think of all the horrible things that could happen to my children...most of which are pretty unrealistic. What if a Brown Recluse spider sneaks into their bed? AR gets pretty crazy in her bed when she's mad, what if she gets her leg caught in between the crib rails, it breaks, then they think I did it and take her away from me? What if I'm walking down the hill with the stroller and I trip on a crack...then the stroller goes rolling down the hill...crashes...or worse, into the street?! What if a crazy person goes to RD's work (hospital) and goes on a shooting spree? It's happened on ER!! I could just go on and on! One thing I haven't been able to get out my head is that 3-year-old kid that choked on a piece of popcorn in a movie theatre and died! I heard several parents say, "I can't believe they were letting a three-yo eat popcorn!". I had no idea that was a bad thing. I'm a new mom, so I'm still learning...so I'd like to think I would answer that differently in the next 2 1/2 years...but that's so scary! I don't know if I'll ever allow my kids popcorn now...EVER! There's just so much out there. You could drive yourself absolutely batty with the "what if's"! Hell...I do!

What kept me up lastnight wasn't thoughts of impending doom, but real estate. I've always been obsessed with real estate - I LOVE the Real Estate Channel and www.realtor.com! I would like to look into it as a career once the kids start school. What had my mind racing lastnight was selling our house. We plan on moving late-Spring of next year. I know it's a long way away, but I'm just itching to get started! This sounds so stupid, but for probably two hours, I lied there thinking about what we need to do to our house before we sell it. I've been really into the shows "Sell This House" on A&E and "Designed to Sell" on HGTV. They're great shows that give wonderful advice on the little things you can do to your house to make it more sellable. Now I've got a running list in my head of things I can get started on now (e.g., new light fixtures, clear out personal pictures and clutter, etc.). At this rate, it's going to make for a long 10 months! LOL

Today's Tidbits

• I took SA out today and left the other two home with dad. NOBODY paid any attention to my baby! LOL It was nice not being stopped every couple of steps by people like we do when we take out all three, but at the same time I was thinking, "Doesn't anyone want to look at my adorable baby?!?!" LOL
• I am so tired all the time. No matter how much sleep I get, I am just exhausted all the time. I'm thinking about calling my doctor. I go to the doctor maybe once every two years, so obviously I don't like going...but this is started to get ridiculous.
• Speaking of my trip out with SA today, we went to Wal-Mart. Usually after venturing to that place, I leave CRABBY for the rest of the day. The trip actually went pretty smooth. I kept wondering what moms that have one baby complain about...one baby was a piece of cake! LOL Of course, I did take the "easy" one! haha!
• RD's off today...and pretty much for the next month (aside from research...but he can do that from home). It's so wonderful having him here. AND, he's in a great mood. My husband is a wonderful, sweet, caring man...but he sure can be moody (unlike me! ha!)! Let's hope he stays in this fun mood for awhile.... :D
• I bought the new Outkast CD while at Wal-Mart today. I didn't notice until I got home, but it says "Edited Version" on the cover. My first reaction was to take it back, but then thought that I would probably be better off with the edited version, b/c it won't be long before the kids are picking up on words. I feel like such a mom! ha!
• I think we're going to start the kids on solids tomorrow. We're planning on making their food ourselves, so RD has to go to his mom's to pick up her food processor, then run to Whole Foods Market to get some fruit and veggies. We'll see if I gan gather the energy to make some tonight. I'm actually really excited to start them on fruit and veggies. We've been feeding them cereal for about a month now, so I'm interested to see how they respond to something different.

Speaking of babies, it sounds like my hubby could use a hand. Until next time...

Welcome to my neighborhood

My neighbors are the biggest hoosiers. The guy across the street has this pimped-out Mitsubishi-something-or-other w/some sort of Japanese/Chinese(?) words (stickers) on the top part of his windshield. It's a black car, but he has a white spoiler. He revs the engine super loud before he goes anywhere; and of course he has to peel out. To add to his coolness, he recently bought a purple motorcycle...which he also revs (am I spelling that right? maybe it's revves.) up and peels off in. We call him the "Fast and the Furious." We don't know his name, and it somehow made sense at the time - the name stuck. It is a couple that lives there. They look to be in their early-20's. There's always a third roommate, but who that person is, is always changing. Right now I think they're in between roommates, but so far I think they've had about five or six. It doesn't matter what time of night (and having three babies here, I've gotten up at just about every time of night there is), their front door is always open, there is always a light on, and you can always see someone walking around.

The guy spends a great deal of time working on his yard. It was quite comical when they first moved in...she actually planted artificial flowers! Nice, real nice. Their landscaping taste has improved over the past couple years, but what gets me is that they spend so much time on their landscaping (and probably money), but yet they'll leave his bike tarp in their front yard for days, the hose just lays out in the front yard, there's random junk here and there, their driveway...ugh, don't get me started on the crap in their driveway!

At least the guy waves at us or says hi back (we make an attempt to be friendly). All the girl does is walk around half naked with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and a cordless phone up to her ear.

What started this blog was me trying to escape from the sounds of Jessica Simpson singing something about feeling beautiful with just her t-shirt on. Our wonderful neighbors are unloading their car (along with two other cars filled with their fun-loving friends) after what looks like a camping or float trip, and they're blaring the radio from one of the cars. Amazingly, my kids are managing to sleep through the madness. I came to the basement, hoping Jessica's voice isn't as clear down here.

We're planning on moving next Summer. You can bet I'll be surveying our potential neighbors a lot better than I did here. LOL

September Slumber

I might not be posting as much in September. September is a "research month" for RD, so he'll be home a lot. 1) He'll be using the computer a lot, which means less PC time for me and 2) Hopefully, we'll be getting out more, which means less PC time for me.

I'll still be posting, just not as frequently. I didn't want you to think I disappeared...if anybody cares anyway. ha!

Looking for some feedback!

I've noticed my hit-count jumping from time to time. I know you're out there!! :) I know someone's been reading...and it sure looks like there might be a few of you...so, please, let me know this isn't all in vain and throw me a comment from time to time!

It sure would make my day! :D

Random Bitching

I am so ready for the olympics to be over. I really enjoy the olympics, but there is a limit to everything, and I've reached it with the O's. Now we're getting down to weightlifting, soccer...who cares?! I'm sure someone does, but it sure as hell isn't me. Is tonight the lastnight? Or is it Monday? I have no idea. I sure hope it's over soon!!

A woman from the local cable company just called wanting us to start using them for our phone service as well. I told her I wasn't interested at this time. "May I ask why?"..."Um, no....(click!)". Why is it when solicitors call (or come knocking on your door), they feel it is their business to know why you do not want to purchase their product? As far as I'm concerned, it's none of their damn business!

I bought some "Spaghetti Classics" meals. I know, very lazy...but they were on sale, so I thought I'd get them for when my husband's working and I'm on my own for dinner. I boil the water, cook the noodles, open the sauce packet...and it's powder! I read the box and it says: Must add can of tomato paste and water. Isn't the whole point of purchasing a "kit" meal, that everything you have is right there? Otherwise, why wouldn't I just buy a box of noodles and jar of sauce? That's one extra step I have to do. So much for easy! I had no sauce nor any tomato paste, so I slapped some butter onto the noodles. That's healthy.

Sickness Inspires

Whenever I'm sick, I always daydream about all the things I could be doing if I felt good. The top of the hutch looks like it could use some dusting. Maybe when I'm feeling better I'll rearrange the furniture. Sure wish I could walk the treadmill right now (yea, like that thought pops up often!). I wish I felt better, if I did I would clean out all the junk drawers...wish I could do that right now. Our basement could use a good overhauling...if only I felt better.

This happens every time I get sick. For one, when I'm sick, I can't imagine what it would feel like to be better again. It's like you totally forget what it was like not to be sick. Ohhhh...the agony...will I feel like this forever? I just can't imagine ever feeling better again! I am feeling much better today. Not 100%, but just enough to get my butt off the couch to do things other than the absolutely necessary (like caring for my children!). I didn't organize any junk drawers today or get a workout in, but I did manage to polish the furniture, vacuum the bedrooms, Swiffer the floors (dry and wet!), and wash the bedsheets and dining room cover (this is one of those stupid moments where I can't remember the word for that...don't you hate when that happens? LOL). I even sat down to go through the cookbooks and started my grocery list. Then RD came home and I pushed that aside. Maybe tomorrow!

Hopefully I'll still be feeling that second wind tonight. My nails - toes and fingers - are in serious need of a paint job.

Table cloth? Well...that sure sounds simple. Is that right? Duh! Table cloth! Maybe I am still a bit ill...LOL

Creepy Dude

I called our local Police Department today to report something I probably should have called in days ago. Last Saturday night at 9:20 p.m., I heard something at our door (we had the big door open, the screen door was locked). I stood up and walked to the door, then I heard light knocking...more like tapping. There was a black man wearing dress pants, a yellow (or cream? it was dark) shirt, w/a tie, holding papers. Our porch light was out so it was kind of hard to see him. I was extremely annoyed at the time, but in hindsight, I started wondering if he had other motives.

Me: Can I help you?
Man: Hi, mam. I'm in the neighborhood, going door-to-door. I'd like to offer you something.
This whole time I'm looking at him like he's absolutely nuts due to the hour.
Man: I'm in a contest to win credit points. I need 20,000 credit points. That's the reason I've come so late. Can you hear me okay out here?
He then steps forward like he expects me to let him in.
Me: Yes, I hear you fine. My children are sleeping, so I'd prefer you keep your voice down anyway.
Man: Yes, that's why I'm talking so soft.
Yes? Soooo...he already knows I have kids?
Man: I'd like you to look through here and circle your favorite. Holding up an orange sheet of paper, w/many other papers behind it.
Man: Your neighbors have all circled their favorite, now I'd like you to do the same.
Me: Favorite what?
Man: See. Holding orange paper up again. Your neighbors have all circled their favorite, now I'd like you to circle your's.
I see there are random numbers circled in black marker. He again makes a step towards the door. Does this guy think I'm going to let him in? I think not!
Me: My favorite what? You still haven't told me what you're selling!
Man: Magazine. He then points to the magazine I'm holding in my hand. You can renew the magazine you already have.
Me: No, I'm not interested. I then start to back away from the door.
Man: Are you sure? Holding up his stupid papers.
Me: Positive. I don't need any magazines.

Once he was gone I looked out the door and noticed that every house was dark. It was a Saturday night, and it sure looked like no one was home. They circled their favorite, huh? I was extremely pissed that this guy came so late, but I didn't even stop to think that maybe he was up to something else. Was this whole scam a way to get in my house? My husband was home, but completely out-of-sight from the door, so this guy would have no way of knowing that. I'd had my door open all night, and had been walking around, so I was clearly visible to anyone who might be watching.

I'm still sick as a dog, so this is something that started whirling through my mind as I lie here feeling like I'm about to die. I left (lengthy) message at the Police Department. I told them that it's up to them if they want to follow up with me, but I wanted to report it in case anything else happened.

Maybe it's my over-active imagination, but I'd hate to find out something happened to somebody and me not have said anything.

The Health Benefits Suck

I've said it many times before and I'll say it again - I'VE GOT THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD; however, the health benefits do suck!

RD came down with a nasty, nasty cold a few days ago. He's had the chills, chunky coughs, congested nose and chest, sore throat...you name it. I gave him strict orders not to go near any of the babies, and I was running around like a mad woman wiping everything in sight with Clorox wipes. I even boiled our toothbrushes, in fear that he might have coughed on mine. I was determined not to get sick; because if he didn't get the babies sick just being in their presence, I would if I got his nasty bug.

You couldn't pay me enough money to go back to work (in the outside world) right now. I am paid in smiles, coos, laughs, and loving gazes...and so far, it's the best-paying job I've ever had; but, CAN'T A WOMAN CALL IN SICK ONCE IN AWHILE?! No. Not with this job. This has got to be the hardest thing. Despite all my efforts, I have caught RD's nasty cold. I would do anything to be able to lie in bed all day, with a tall glass of orange juice at my side, the remote in one hand, my kitty under the other, looking ridiculous with a tissue stuck up each nostril. Aahhhhh...heaven. But (again with the but's!), my husband is at work, so I have babies to feed, change, entertain (though I must say, Baby Einstein is covering that department for me pretty well today). They give me the most pitiful look (the same one they've been giving their dad for the past three days) that says, "Why aren't you holding me? Why won't you play with me?" The poor babies, they don't understand.

I've teased RD saying that I need a vacation. I truly don't need a vacation, a real vacation - I would miss the babies too much! When I say I need a vacation, what I really mean is that I would like 8-10 hours away from the house to do whatever I want - baby-free. That's it. No more than that.

But (here we go again!), I really do need a sick day...maybe two! Heck...I'd take a couple sick hours at this point. Off to bed I go!

Olympic Observation

I was watching the Womens' Beach Volleyball game lastnight, and I was in awe of their bodies.

It must be nice to be able to jump up and down and not have the fat on your thighs or ass jiggle. Amazing.

Class is in Session

"Are you ready to meet your babies?" That's one of the last words my doctor said to me before he delivered our children. Wow. I don't know that anyone can truly grasp the feeling it is to be a parent, to love someone so unconditionally, until you become one.

I knew I had an incredible responsibility ahead of me, but I don't know that I really stopped to think about all those little things that I would be teaching them. Well...not so little actually, but things for example, like talking. Whether with intention or not, I am helping them to build their vocabulary. Studies show (you will find that the number of sentences that start with "studies show that..." will dramatically increase once you have children. LOL) that a baby of a mother suffering depression will not only have a much smaller vocabulary, but a lower IQ. It makes sense to me. A woman who is depressed isn't going to interact and talk as much to her baby as a woman who is in good spirits. If you don't constantly talk to your baby, how is he/she going to learn how to communicate using words? RD teases me sometimes, but I am always talking with (or to rather) our babies. I always explain what I'm doing (i.e., changing diaper, putting left sock on, burping them, etc.). I'm also, selfishly, pointing at myself saying "mama" or "mommy" several times throughout the day. LOL

The conversations RD and I had while I was pregnant regarding our parenting consisted primarily of discipline (and of course how much love we would shower them with!). I think it's normal to examine your own childhood, and also, the parenting skills of those around you, to make judgements on what kind of parent you think you should and will be. Many things will change of course, it's a learn-as-you-go job, but I think it's important to have an action plan (so-to-speak) as you go into it. I want to know that RD and I are going into this as a team - that, hopefully, when we reach some of the big decisions (e.g., schooling, to spank or not to spank, etc.), we have a general idea of where the other stands. We're both careful not to say, "Our kids will never..." or "We'll never let them...". I realize it's easy to sit back and predict what wonderful, perfect kids we'll have...they'll be perfectly happy not to ever drink soda, eat fast food, watch too much tv...LOL...but it's never that easy.

Only time will tell what sort of parents we'll be. But for now, I'm throwing discipline out the window, and I'm focusing on being the most loving, caring mother I can be. I'm sure we'll #%@& things up from time to time, but our children will be secure in knowing they have a family that loves them, and will always be there for them, no matter what. No matter what.

Ten Things I Love About...

AR

1. The coos she makes when she's lying in bed in the morning.
2. The way she pushes herself up on her arms (in her crib) to watch me change her brother(s) on the changing table.
3. The smile she gives me when I go to get her out of bed.
4. The squeal she makes when she gets excited.
5. The way she kicks her feet when watching her favorite videos.
6. The cute face she makes when I'm burping her.
7. The smile she gives her favorite toy, Hee-Haw, when I give him a squeeze.
8. The way she smiles at her brothers, when she's trying to get their attention.
9. The embarassed little looks she gives me once I pick her up, after she's been crying.
10. The way her face lights up when her dad walks in the room.

SJ

1. The sweet little coos he makes while patiently waiting for me to get him from his crib.
2. The way he teasingly kicks his feet when I try to put his pants on.
3. The loving look he gives me when I talk to him.
4. The way he chews on his favorite toy, Banana Man.
5. The scream of joy he lets out when his favorite part comes on his video.
6. The proud look on his face when he pushes himself up off the floor.
7. The look of relief he has once he's found his thumb!
8. The way he concentrates so hard when he sees something interesting.
9. When he can't eat because he's smiling so big at you.
10. The way he giggles when I kiss his neck.

SA

1. The way he watches his brother through the slats of his crib when he wakes up.
2. The squeal of joy he gives me when I pick him up.
3. His non-stop talking (cooing) when I hold him.
4. His intense eye contact.
5. His loud giggling when I tickle his stomach.
6. His hilarious enthusiasm for mealtime.
7. The loud sucking noises coming from his munching on his teething ring.
8. His thick, blonde hair.
9. His ever-patient attitude.
10. The way he has his mouth hanging open when he gets so excited!

Needing some zzzzzZZZZZZ's

Have you ever been so tired you feel sick? I mean seriously ill? That's how I feel right now. I don't know why I'm so dang tired. I've been getting okay sleep I guess. I did get woken up by my cell phone not too long after I fell asleep lastnight. It was some woman asking for Tony, her voice sounded funny. She called a couple times, I told her she had the wrong number, then I turned my phone off. When I turned it back on this morning, I saw that I had a voicemail. It was the same woman that was looking for this Tony-guy. I realized then why she sounded so funny, she was crying. Her message said:

Her name is Melissa, Tony? Melissa? You fucking asshole! How could you do this to me?!

Oh boy! This poor lady thinks I'm her husband/boyfriend(?)'s girlfriend! My mind raced trying to think who I had given my cell number out to (getting one of our cars fixed, one's for sale, hmmm....). I couldn't think of anybody, and considering she hasn't called back, I would guess that she dialed wrong the first time, then kept hitting redial. I told RD about it this morning and he laughed and said, "You got a boyfriend, huh? I've got my antennas up now...I'm watching you! (chuckle chuckle) This guy must be a saint if he's going to take on these three kids! (cracking himself up)". RD knows me well enough to know I would never cheat on him. I think the same of him.

It's so nice being married to someone I love, respect, and trust 100%. I consider myself very lucky. I feel that our relationship is special in that we are such wonderful friends. I told RD that if we were to ever divorce, I know we would remain the best of friends. This of course upset him thinking how could I say the "d-word"!! I don't ever see that in our future, I was just trying to emphasize how wonderful I think our friendship is. He didn't see it that way. LOL I guess I better choose my words more carefully. ;)

Back to the original subject at hand - I think I'll be retiring early tonight.

Sweet dreams!

Aaahhh...the Stupid Things People Say

1. Are them triplets?
2. Did you use fertility drugs?
3. Did you know you were having triplets?
4. What do you do when they all cry at the same time?
5. What was your labor like?
6. I bet you were huge!
7. Are they natural?
8. How old is that one? That one? That one?
9. I feel sorry for you.
10. I'd shoot myself.
11. Were you trying to have triplets?
12. I don't know whether to say congratulations or I'm sorry!

Are three babies easier than one?

Any time I'm out in public with the babies, or any time it comes up in conversation that we have triplets, we always get the same reaction...

• You have your hands full!
• How do you do it?
• You must not have any time to yourself!

Everyone's immediate assumption is that our lives are basically hell, we must not get any sleep, and my entire day as a SAHM is consumed with BABIES! BABIES! BABIES! Now, not all their assumptions are entirely untrue. Sure, our LIVES are BABIES! BABIES! BABIES! But, not in the way they are thinking. I feel like I'm consumed with my babies, obsessed with their wonderful smell, overflowing with my love for them; but, that said, I do have time for myself (I have painted toes and a clean house to prove it!), I get plenty of sleep, and heck, I still get to watch my favorite soap opera (bet you'll never guess what that is!). I know that the time I find for myself during the day is slowly dwindling away, as the babies nap times keep getting shorter and shorter, and they are getting more active - requiring more attention and entertainment.

RD and I were out Saturday night, hanging out with some old college friends of his that were in town. His friend's wife, P, started asking questions and saying how crazy our lives must be. RD said, "Actually, I think we have it easier than a lot of families with one baby." Everyone, including me, looked at RD like he was crazy; but he made a good point. We have our babies on such a strict schedule. They all eat at the same time everyday, nap at the same time...WE eat at the same time every evening. Everything, and I mean everything about our day is scheduled. Our babies have been sleeping through the night (7-8 hours) since they were a little over two months. They have been sleeping 12-hour nights since they were four months. My friends and family of singletons told us not to expect our babies to sleep 7-8 hours straight until 6-7 months, and not to expect them to sleep 12 hours straight until around a year. People give us this unbelieving look when we tell them how much sleep we're getting! I don't want to piss out any moms out there, but what RD was saying, and I agree, is that we had no choice but to be so strict with our babies. I don't like to use the word strict, they are only 5 months old, but we had to "stick to our guns" in order to keep ourselves sane. We could not keep popping pacifiers in their mouths every couple minutes (I am so happy to say that they do not use pacifiers), we could not go running into their room every time they fuss in the night, we could not pick them up and cuddle them every time they get fussy (I'm alone w/three babies by myself 90% of the time!) - b/c of this, we have babies that are very good at self-soothing, they are very happy b/c we let them sleep, and they know when they're in their cribs, it's time to sleep. Sure, they cry sometimes when we put them down to sleep (AR...a lot of time time!), but they do fall asleep on their own, we don't need to rock them to sleep, sing them to sleep, etc. I'm sure if we had just one baby, we'd be making the same mistakes everyone else makes, we just don't have the time to start bad habits. We have no choice but to run a tight ship! LOL Before you start thinking we're too tough on our little babies, please know we give them lots of love and attention. I make sure all three get their one-on-one time with me, we do our little exercises on the floor, I read to them, sing to them, these babies are certainly not hurting for attention. :) People of course tell us how lucky we are to have these freakishly happy, good, incredible sleeping babies. Do I think the sleeping-through-the-night-thing is luck? Sure, for some people. There are babies out there that, from some miracle of God, sleep through the night almost immediately. For the most part, however, I think babies need help learning to sleep through the night. It takes babies awhile to differentiate day from night - that comes naturally with time. There are ways to help:

• During the 30 minutes prior to putting them down for the night, keep the lights dim, speak in a soft voice, do not do things to excite the baby - this is their time to wind down for the day.
• Keep their room very dark.
• If you have to go in their room at night, if it is absolutely necessary, keep it very dim.
• If you have to get them up to change them, feed them, whatever, do not talk to them, do not make eye contact...do your business, and put them right back to bed. They must learn that nighttime is "sleep time," not time to play, not "mommy time."
• If you find that you're having to go in there every night, what is the reason? Do they really need to be fed? If they're not sick, and it's not a packed diaper, let's face it, they're playing you! LOL Babies are so much smarter than people give them credit for. You can go in to check to make sure he/she is okay, but then leave. If the pattern continues, you should know the next night that your baby just wants you; it might take a couple nights of crying it out, but it will be worth it to you and your baby in the long run. Crying will not hurt your baby, but lack of sleep will.
• Do not rock them to sleep or hold them until they fall asleep and try to sneak them into bed. If you rock them to sleep everynight, when they wake up in the middle of the night, they are going to expect to be rocked back to sleep.

I'm certainly not an expert on child-rearing. Every mother has her opinions on how babies should be raised, what they think every parent should do. We all hear friends and family talk about their kids and think to ourselves how crazy they are to do this or that. Please don't get angry at anything I write here. I write my opinions here, b/c I would never tell anyone that what they are doing is wrong, or that my way is better. I must bite my tongue out in the real world, but here I can lay it all out on the line. :)

The Romance is Over

My husband and I were lying in bed the other night, and he said something that made me sick to my stomach.

Our conversation:

Keep in mind, this conversation was right after I turned him down for sex. I'm having my period. It grosses me out to have sex while on my period, but husband on the other hand...well, he ALWAYS wants sex.
RD: We're not romantic anymore.
Me: I told you, I'm on my period. You know I feel icky.
RD: It's not about the sex.
Me: Then what's it about?
RD: The romance is gone.
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
RD: You don't scratch my back anymore, rub my feet. It goes both ways, I don't play with your hair anymore...stuff like that.
Me: I just rubbed your back the other night!
RD: That was just for a minute, standing in the kitchen. That doesn't count.
Me: NO...I mean the other night when you couldn't get to sleep. I scratched your back for a long time.
RD: Well...we don't do stuff like that as much as we used to.
Me: Well, let's make a vow to me more romantic with each other. I promise to be more affectionate with you. Do you vow to be more affectionate with me?
RD: Uh-huh.
Me: Do you promise? I don't want to be the only one having to step it up here.
RD: Yes, I promise.

We kissed then said goodnight. Then, being a typical girl, my mind started going crazy.

Me: Is our marriage in trouble?
RD: WHAT?!
Me: Is our marriage in trouble?
RD: Don't be stupid.
Me: Seriously. You can't just say something like, "We're not romantic anymore" and expect me to think it's no big deal. Are we okay?
RD: Of course we're okay. Stop overthinking things.

That conversation has been bugging me ever since. You must know, that my husband just doesn't talk about stuff like that - issues. He keeps things bottled up. If something's bothering me, heck, I'd probably never know it. I guess the couple beers he had before bed (which is rare), made him open up a bit. Maybe he was just so damn horny he felt he had to make me feel bad one way or the other. I don't know.

What I do know is that he's been keeping up his end of the bargain. I played with his hair and ran my fingers up and down his arm while lying next to him on the couch lastnight. Then later in the evening, he played with my hair. We cuddle every night as we go to sleep, but something seemed extra special about it lastnight.

Maybe him opening up a little bit more isn't so bad after all.

Snooze It Or Lose It

4 a.m. this morning, AR wakes up screaming. No, no, no! We have perfect babies that all sleep through the night! You are not allowed to start doing this for another three hours! Aaahhhh!!! I wait about 10 minutes, hoping, praying that she will just go back to sleep. You can tell a difference in a baby's cries, and this was a definite, "I'm-not-going-back-to-sleep-until-you-come-in-here-cry." Detatch her from her white-knuckled grip on the rails of her crib, flip her back onto her back, tuck her back in, push that white-noise maker doo-dad closer to her ear, turn up the volume, and go back to bed. She's still crying, but it's most definitely a cry that gives me hope. One that says, "I think I'm about to tire out and fall back to sleep any minute." I crawl back into bed, under my comfy blanket, nestle my face into my wonderful pillow, then my husband turns over and whispers, "Her cry sure sounds funny. Are you sure there's nothing wrong with her?". I was thinking Of course she sounds funny...she's mad, and when she's mad she sticks her whole fist in her mouth. You'd sound funny, too, if you tried to do that while crying. I then try to go back to sleep. I can't. She's still crying, still that "I'm-going-to-sleep-cry," then I open my eyes with worry. My husband is concerned? My husband doesn't worry about anything. AR was sick two weeks ago, she had vomit spewing out of her mouth and nose; a scene that would make Linda Blair proud...did he have any sort of reaction? No. His only concern was the rancid smell coming from the cushions of the couch for the next three days. He's a physician, so he really downplays those horrific episodes that cause most mothers to break out in hives and cause instant ulcers. But, NOW...NOW...he's worried. If he's worried, then I guess I should be worried. I better go check on her, I think to myself. I know...I know...you're thinking, "If the husband's so worried about the baby, why doesn't he get up to check on her?" Fair enough question. He had to be up for work at 6 a.m. Unless he's off the next day, or doesn't go in until later, I let him be off the hook. I get to nap while the kids nap if we have a rough night, so I think it's definitely fair. Anyway, back to AR...she had worked herself back up against the rails again, but I could tell she was tiring out. Is she stuffy? She sounded a little stuffy. A little hoarse? Well, wouldn't you sound hoarse if you'd been screaming your head off for 15+ minutes?! This is how it went...It's so damn dark in here I can't even see her. I can't turn a light on b/c I'll wake the boys. How on earth can I tell if something is wrong without turning on a light or picking her up. Fine, I'll pick her up. Nothing, I can't tell a damn thing. She does feel wet...well, since I have her up I might as well change her. I take her into the living room, change her, clear out her nose, then promptly take her back to bed. This screaming is out of control. There's is no way on God's green earth that this child is going down w/o a serious fight. She's not stopping until not only are her two brothers going to wake up (who, btw, are only a few feet away in the same room), but she won't stop until the whole neighborhood is wondering, "What in the hell is happening in that house?". Fine, I concede, I will get her up, knowing that I am just asking for it. Babies are a lot smarter than you think. I've found there's nothing wrong with her. Let's face it, she just wanted some mommy-time. You know what's going to happen? Tomorrow morning at 4 a.m., she's going to wake up expecting the same thing. She's thinking, "Hey, this is great! I cry and scream and mommy comes and holds me! This is the life!". We've gone through this once before - when she was sick. I had to get up with her then to feed her, b/c I was worried about her becoming dehydrated since she had been sick. Well, even once she was better, she expected to get up with me every night after that. We had to, what I call, "reprogram" (ha!) her to sleep through the night. A couple nights of the Ferber Method (crying it out in timed intervals), and she was back on track. I GUARANTEE she's going to wake up at the same time tomorrow. I would put money on it. Time to reprogram! She "got me" this morning, but I'm on to her game! ;)

A little about me

I don't see anyone ever reading this, other than me, but I supposed I should give some background on me and my family...just in case. :)

Random Facts:

• I am 30 years old.
• I have been married for three years to wonderful husband, who I will refer to in my posts as RD.
• We have triplets - two boys and a girl, who I will refer to as SA, SJ, and AR (girl). They recently turned 5 mo.
• I am a stay-at-home-mom.
• I have two Siamese cats - Betty and Bud, 10 years old.

That's the only things I can think of right now...just to get started anyway.

Now that you've gotten to know me a little bit, the fun can begin!