My husband and I were lying in bed the other night, and he said something that made me sick to my stomach.
Our conversation:
Keep in mind, this conversation was right after I turned him down for sex. I'm having my period. It grosses me out to have sex while on my period, but husband on the other hand...well, he ALWAYS wants sex.
RD: We're not romantic anymore.
Me: I told you, I'm on my period. You know I feel icky.
RD: It's not about the sex.
Me: Then what's it about?
RD: The romance is gone.
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
RD: You don't scratch my back anymore, rub my feet. It goes both ways, I don't play with your hair anymore...stuff like that.
Me: I just rubbed your back the other night!
RD: That was just for a minute, standing in the kitchen. That doesn't count.
Me: NO...I mean the other night when you couldn't get to sleep. I scratched your back for a long time.
RD: Well...we don't do stuff like that as much as we used to.
Me: Well, let's make a vow to me more romantic with each other. I promise to be more affectionate with you. Do you vow to be more affectionate with me?
RD: Uh-huh.
Me: Do you promise? I don't want to be the only one having to step it up here.
RD: Yes, I promise.
We kissed then said goodnight. Then, being a typical girl, my mind started going crazy.
Me: Is our marriage in trouble?
RD: WHAT?!
Me: Is our marriage in trouble?
RD: Don't be stupid.
Me: Seriously. You can't just say something like, "We're not romantic anymore" and expect me to think it's no big deal. Are we okay?
RD: Of course we're okay. Stop overthinking things.
That conversation has been bugging me ever since. You must know, that my husband just doesn't talk about stuff like that - issues. He keeps things bottled up. If something's bothering me, heck, I'd probably never know it. I guess the couple beers he had before bed (which is rare), made him open up a bit. Maybe he was just so damn horny he felt he had to make me feel bad one way or the other. I don't know.
What I do know is that he's been keeping up his end of the bargain. I played with his hair and ran my fingers up and down his arm while lying next to him on the couch lastnight. Then later in the evening, he played with my hair. We cuddle every night as we go to sleep, but something seemed extra special about it lastnight.
Maybe him opening up a little bit more isn't so bad after all.
