- You have your hands full!
- How do you do it?
- You must not have any time to yourself!
Everyone's immediate assumption is that our lives are basically hell, we must not get any sleep, and my entire day as a SAHM is consumed with BABIES! BABIES! BABIES! Now, not all their assumptions are entirely untrue. Sure, our LIVES are BABIES! BABIES! BABIES! But, not in the way they are thinking. I feel like I'm consumed with my babies, obsessed with their wonderful smell, overflowing with my love for them; but, that said, I do have time for myself (I have painted toes and a clean house to prove it!), I get plenty of sleep, and heck, I still get to watch my favorite soap opera (bet you'll never guess what that is!). I know that the time I find for myself during the day is slowly dwindling away, as the babies nap times keep getting shorter and shorter, and they are getting more active - requiring more attention and entertainment.
RD and I were out Saturday night, hanging out with some old college friends of his that were in town. His friend's wife, P, started asking questions and saying how crazy our lives must be. RD said, "Actually, I think we have it easier than a lot of families with one baby." Everyone, including me, looked at RD like he was crazy; but he made a good point. We have our babies on such a strict schedule. They all eat at the same time everyday, nap at the same time...WE eat at the same time every evening. Everything, and I mean everything about our day is scheduled. Our babies have been sleeping through the night (7-8 hours) since they were a little over two months. They have been sleeping 12-hour nights since they were four months. My friends and family of singletons told us not to expect our babies to sleep 7-8 hours straight until 6-7 months, and not to expect them to sleep 12 hours straight until around a year. People give us this unbelieving look when we tell them how much sleep we're getting! I don't want to piss out any moms out there, but what RD was saying, and I agree, is that we had no choice but to be so strict with our babies. I don't like to use the word strict, they are only 5 months old, but we had to "stick to our guns" in order to keep ourselves sane. We could not keep popping pacifiers in their mouths every couple minutes (I am so happy to say that they do not use pacifiers), we could not go running into their room every time they fuss in the night, we could not pick them up and cuddle them every time they get fussy (I'm alone w/three babies by myself 90% of the time!) - b/c of this, we have babies that are very good at self-soothing, they are very happy b/c we let them sleep, and they know when they're in their cribs, it's time to sleep. Sure, they cry sometimes when we put them down to sleep (AR...a lot of time time!), but they do fall asleep on their own, we don't need to rock them to sleep, sing them to sleep, etc. I'm sure if we had just one baby, we'd be making the same mistakes everyone else makes, we just don't have the time to start bad habits. We have no choice but to run a tight ship! LOL Before you start thinking we're too tough on our little babies, please know we give them lots of love and attention. I make sure all three get their one-on-one time with me, we do our little exercises on the floor, I read to them, sing to them, these babies are certainly not hurting for attention. :) People of course tell us how lucky we are to have these freakishly happy, good, incredible sleeping babies. Do I think the sleeping-through-the-night-thing is luck? Sure, for some people. There are babies out there that, from some miracle of God, sleep through the night almost immediately. For the most part, however, I think babies need help learning to sleep through the night. It takes babies awhile to differentiate day from night - that comes naturally with time. There are ways to help:
- During the 30 minutes prior to putting them down for the night, keep the lights dim, speak in a soft voice, do not do things to excite the baby - this is their time to wind down for the day.
- Keep their room very dark.
- If you have to go in their room at night, if it is absolutely necessary, keep it very dim.
- If you have to get them up to change them, feed them, whatever, do not talk to them, do not make eye contact...do your business, and put them right back to bed. They must learn that nighttime is "sleep time," not time to play, not "mommy time."
- If you find that you're having to go in there every night, what is the reason? Do they really need to be fed? If they're not sick, and it's not a packed diaper, let's face it, they're playing you! LOL Babies are so much smarter than people give them credit for. You can go in to check to make sure he/she is okay, but then leave. If the pattern continues, you should know the next night that your baby just wants you; it might take a couple nights of crying it out, but it will be worth it to you and your baby in the long run. Crying will not hurt your baby, but lack of sleep will.
- Do not rock them to sleep or hold them until they fall asleep and try to sneak them into bed. If you rock them to sleep everynight, when they wake up in the middle of the night, they are going to expect to be rocked back to sleep.
I'm certainly not an expert on child-rearing. Every mother has her opinions on how babies should be raised, what they think every parent should do. We all hear friends and family talk about their kids and think to ourselves how crazy they are to do this or that. Please don't get angry at anything I write here. I write my opinions here, b/c I would never tell anyone that what they are doing is wrong, or that my way is better. I must bite my tongue out in the real world, but here I can lay it all out on the line. :)
